Who Wears the Pants?

Who wears the pants??

I grew up in a household where no one really wore the pants, everyone just played a role; no role really being greater than the other. Long story short, I grew up with the notion that it wasn’t about “who wears the pants”, but more about how well each person wears them.

She Makes More Than Me…

In society, I feel that it’s expected and accepted that in a relationship the man can and/or should make more than his woman. In my mind I don’t agree nor disagree with that standard. I just feel that there are calibers, and exceptions to this unwritten rule.

I’ll start by saying that I don’t feel it’s necessarily a terrible thing if the woman makes more than a man… My only rule to that is: It’s not an issue for the woman to make more than the man AS LONG AS the man is making enough to take care of his household off of his means alone.

Is that too strict?? Well don’t jump down my throat too quickly, because I feel this rule applies to women as well.

Well let me try and explain this the best way I know how. At the end of the day, I feel that a man should have the proper means to take care of his household if something ever was to go wrong and he needed to step up. So it’s like even if the man is an under-paid teacher and the woman is a top dollar Certified Accountant, his teaching salary shouldn’t size up to a McDonald’s check when it comes to taking care of a household.

The Real Problem..

I feel that more than anything, the difference in pay could effect one’s ego. However, I feel it’s important to understand that as long as your partner doesn’t have a problem with the difference in the weight of your checks, then it’s fine. I honestly don’t find it to be as big of a deal as many may think it is. I feel that the real problem isn’t really the difference in checks at all. I feel that it has to do with evaluating the lifestyle…

((I had to start a new paragraph for this thought))

See. A woman who’s making good money can afford to do things that a man making a small check cannot. She can afford to spend and know it’s coming back. She can afford to pay all of her bills and still go out and splurge on a new handbag. She afford to not need a man. I feel that men yearn for that feeling of being needed that when that feeling is null and void, it does something to them. It brings about an insecurity that women maybe can’t truly be empathetic to because we don’t know what it’s really like.

Words of Wisdom: Communicate with your partner if them making more bothers you. Do things that will make you feel a bit more empowered.. pay an extra bill :). Furthermore, gain that security within your relationship. If your partner doesn’t see it as a big deal, then don’t make it a big deal. IF you happen to make a McDonald’s sized check in comparison to your partners check then HEY! Don’t duck down, BE A BOSS! Make your partner forget you make pennies to their dollar. 

WEAR THOSE PANTS, AND WEAR THEM WELL!! 🙂

Furthermore, Be Blessed.

Loved or Appreciated…

Hey there beautiful folk…

To tell you how this topic came to me would be telling you too much, but I’ll say that it sparked a deep conversation between myself and a lovely stranger.

Would you rather be loved or appreciated?

I guess this post is more a matter of opinion obviously. 

Appreciated.

My reasoning was simple. I feel it’s important for people to understand all that one brings to their life. Whether it be laughter, love, peace etc. I feel that one may love someone ALL day long and never know exactly how incomplete they’d be without them.

A classic case that I provided during my argument was a simple relationship when a spouse cheats on their partner. One may say that even though they cheated, they still love their mate. I don’t knock that statement. I believe that it is possible. However, I feel that one who cheats doesn’t appreciate their situation ENOUGH. I feel that: one who appreciates something won’t treat it like just anything.

Appreciate all things given to you.

My very first post as your Guru was “The Hardest Thing About Life”. I stated that I felt the hardest thing about life was appreciating it and all of it’s intricacies. Something as simple as someone loaning you a single dollar that you don’t have. I feel that once you gain an appreciation for something, love becomes a possibility.

Feeling Appreciated.

Picture it. You come home from a long day of work and your boo has dinner cook, bubble bath ran and the latest episode of SCANDAL recorded for you 🙂 It’s like “awww thanks babe, I appreciate that!!” You feel love and appreciated all in one swift move.

I don’t think people think as much about it. It like an unconscious feeling. You never really notice it until you’re lacking it.

Words of Wisdom? Read this post again 🙂 No, but honestly, there are no right or wrong answers. Although I feel I presented my case rather well, I must say that my lovely debater presented their side just as well. As long as you are receiving the emotional feedback to satisfies your soul, then by all means carry on. 

Furthermore Beautiful Readers.. Be Blessed 🙂

“Do What You Gotta Do…”

Hi there.. seems like nearly forever since I did a post; Lately I’ve been a bit more than inspired though by a few things.

*SideNote* There is irony here though, I’m not wearing my glasses 🙂

I still must Do What I Gotta Do. The topic today.

The other day I found myself with an abundance of tangled thoughts, no efficient answers and a million rhetorical questions that I was asking myself. I found myself becoming very concerned with certain things that I had no immediate control over.

My turning point came when I relaxed my mind and was actually able to solve one of my worries in that same instant. I literally solved my problem within minutes of me concentrating on the solution. Seriously.

Everyday I hear complaints, and in my mind I can relate, but at the same time I try to encourage one to instead of complaining, brainstorm. Try it. Instead of saying “ugh! This test is going to be sooooo hard”.. say, “I should probably get an early start on studying because I already KNOW this is going to be a challenge for me”… Do you see the difference in connotation?

Words of Wisdom: Yes, this is pretty short, sweet and to the point. I learned that when you’re handling your business, and doing all that you’re suppose to be doing, then everything will fall in place. Understand that the moment you press pause on life to cry and reminisce in your moment of somberness that you’re losing valuable time. Time that can be put into a goal. Do What You Gotta Do and be patient. 

Furthermore readers.. Be Blessed.

Word Play..

I don’t want a boyfriend, I want a friend.. that’s a boy..

I don’t have secrets, I have business that I don’t care to share with you..

I’m mad, I’m just VERY VERY VERY disappointed..

I didn’t expect anything, I just kinda hoped it’d go differently..

((Word Play))

I may admit to using all of those lines at one point in time.. I can directly give confirmation that word play happens to be the best catalytic form of missed communication that I know!

…Word Play…

Saying what you don’t mean, but meaning what you say.. Of COURSE you want a boy that’s a friend, but you also want a boyfriend. Of COURSE you hoped it’d go differently, you expected it to go a LOT better right?? Yeeeea…

||Word Play||

It’s something I’m good at actually. This contradictory, shy yet forward, genius form of communication is something that I grin at because the effortless, unknowing way that people do it, intrigues me. The way a person can say what they don’t mean, but in their minds, mean exactly what they say.. Interesting right?

:|Words of Wisdom >> Word Play|:

Use word play wisely. When I say wisely, I mean use word play when you are not trying to validate a serious point. Use it when you are not attempting to be direct in your approach. Use it when you’d like to send someone on a goose chase and have them figure out something that you don’t feel that you’d like to necessary say. Use it at your own risk.

Now after you read my Words of Wisdom, how do you feel about my concept of Word Play? 

 

Furthermore Readers, Be Blessed…

–Yours Truly, Guru.

 

A Year Older…

June 24th I turned 24…

The question most people always break the ice with is: How does it feel to be 24? With no real sufficient answer I say the first thing that comes to mind and that is: “The same as I did on the 23rd.. no more different than 23…”

Welp, I’d like to not so much recant my initial statement but rephrase it for better understanding.

I feel a sense of urgency..

As I did when I was 23.

Every year my birthday comes around, I like to take a moment to evaluate where I am in life. I don’t mind feeling the same as I did when I was 23, as long as the same defines happiness. I don’t mind..

I was having a conversation with a young man and he asked: “What you gone do different at 24?”

So I’ll explain.

See when I was 23, I felt like I was preparing for 24. When I was 23 I felt like everything I was doing led up to the point where I’d only have to maintain it at 24 and once I became 24, I could take THAT which I learned and accumulated at 23 and prepare to be 25 while I was 24…

Did I lose you on that?? 

Because I understand the fact that I’m not getting any younger, I’m not a person to live in the moment too much. I’m not a person to stretch happiness. I’m a person that would rather find different forms of happiness as I go on with life. I’m a person who welcomes change even if I don’t like it, therefore I understand that what may make me happy at 23, may not make me happy at 24. So while I’m 23, I’m preparing for that change. Mentally preparing my mind for that shift that may come.

&&& when I say shift, I simply mean that moment when I merely don’t want to do certain things anymore. No, I don’t want to eat McDonalds anymore, I want to go to a restaurant and sit down. That’s a simple shift. A heavier shift would be: No, I don’t want to date for years to fall in love never, I want an acknowledged foundation.

He felt as though I skated around the question as to what will I do different at 24. However, if you read the same words I’m proof-reading now, you’d understand that my 24, is your 25; that it’s not a matter of doing things different, versus better with more direction; that at 23 I was trying to stay 2 steps and 3 thoughts ahead. I will continue to strive to do that.. [There’s your answer]

I’m A Year Older…

I did what I had to do at 23, and I was ready… AM ready.. to now be 24.

Furthermore, Be Blessed

–Yours Truly, Guru .

 

 

Consistency

This Shall Be Short & Sweet…

Consistency.

You ever meet someone who one moment you adore them; the next moment they’re a pain in your behind; the next moment you really feel like you don’t even know them? It’s a real task to keep up with that huh?

I feel that it is imperative that one understands that the faith a person builds in you depends on your consistency. For instance, if you are someone that many people call on in their time of need, it might be due to the fact that they KNOW they can count on you for whatever reason. You’ve given them a reason to instill that faith in you. On the flip side, if you’re someone who’s always cancelling a plan; or never picking up the phone during emergencies, I doubt others are going to have much faith in you when it comes to certain things.

Consistency In Relationships

I mean ANY relationship. Romantic, Business or Friendship. Whatever the relationship is, I’m sure the recipient wants to feel as though they know you. I can’t really give too much explanation when it comes to being consistent.

If I had to give some direct encouragement, I’d say:

• Do what you say you’re going to do
• Be who you want people to see and know you as
• Treat others how you want to be treated
• Don’t make promises or plans that you can’t or don’t intend to keep
• Don’t FEEL obligated.. BE obligated [How Obligated Are You]

Simple.

See… short & sweet. It’s not hard, so don’t make it hard to be consistent.

Let Them Show You…

For the sake of tired eyes as I am writing, I of course will make this short and sweet..

Let Them Show You..

Put to rest the detective in you. Allow others to present themselves to you without you trying to analyze every single thing about them. I’m sure as individuals we see ourselves as great judge of characters. I’m sure we pride ourselves on being able to recognize the phony and embrace the real..

Don’t misconstrue my words though. It’s okay to have your own thoughts, it’s fine to observe and gain a grasp on people. It is just as well however to give someone the benefit of the doubt.

I’ve come to a small tested conclusion that it is simple, and less mind boggling to actually relax those thought muscles and allow someone to show you all that you want to know. They say: actions speak louder than words… I mean if you’re into metaphors, then I’d say go with this. Allow their actions to speak for them. Stop asking a million questions formatted like an interview. Challenge yourself to actually observe more than their Facebook pages. Challenge yourself to actually take in what is in front of you.

Let Them Show You…

I tell you it wasn’t so easy for me to let go of control of situations for me. I was actually always someone who enjoyed being able to piece together the personalities of people. I was always very keen on beating them to the punch, with a certain hidden fear that the person they’d present to me wouldn’t be the person they actually were. I’ve learned however that my notion and reasoning for doing so was nothing more than my lack of vulnerability, trust, and fear. I’ve tried to convince myself for the longest that my reasoning for analyzing was to protect myself, but then I noticed that I didn’t know what I was protecting myself from exactly, coming up with everything possible to make sense of it. When really going into it, I had nothing to fear. I had to understand that as long as I had a thought of who I thought they were, I wasn’t giving them the proper chance to show me anything.

Let Them Show You…

At Ease…

Furthermore, Be Blessed.

Everyday Is Mother’s Day

Massage parlors and nail shops will be filled… Hair Salons and restaurants.

All things that women like will pretty much be booked and filled with smiling, relaxed faces.

I feel like Mother’s Day is one of the greatest non-official holidays around. Its not only a day to be thankful of all the great things mommies do for us, but more importantly just to be grateful that she pushed us out and brought us into this world.

Mother’s Day for some may also be the hardest day to deal with. I know a few people whom don’t have their mother around anymore. I know a few people who all they would want in life is to have their mother around for a simple hug and decent conversation. -_- I know a few people who never actually had a mom around.

So this post is actually not to give good gift ideas, it’s to encourage those whom just see it as a gift giving day to take heed to the appreciation side. Some day it will be you who will want nothing more than to hug your mom and have a decent conversation.

Gifts are great, but don’t only use this designated day to show your appreciation. Everyday your Mother is a Mother… Everyday should be Mother’s Day. So as this day approaches us, think not only of how much money you can spend. Think of how much time you can spend.

Be consistent. Be helpful. Be mindful. Be that great child. 

Be Thankful. Be Blessed.

–Guru

 

 

Don’t Change

Greetings lovely people…

As always something ignites my mind and brings me here. As always I will try my best to make this short and to the point.

Don’t Change.

Okay bye ^_^

No but really, don’t change.

I know that sounds crazy coming from someone who feels that change is good. That certain change represents growth. So now I need you to read this post carefully so that you are not confused by the title.

To The Point:

I don’t think there is anything worse than feelins like you’re dating one person, only to find out that they are extremely different from whom they presented themselves to be.

I always encourage people to start how you’re going to end. A basic explanation of this would be if you’re a social butterfly, but present yourself as a homebody because that’s what you feel he/she would prefer THEN once you get together, you come out your shell and wonder why there’s a problem when your partner is complaining about you going out ALL the time. Well that’s because they’re not accustomed to this ‘new you’.

Are you following me?

There is nothing wrong with being who you are from the beginning. The reality of it is, is that you will not always mesh well with everyone. Everyone will not always like, understand or want to mesh with who you are.

But don’t change that. Find someone who will simply appreciate that.

I see this most frequently with ladies. Adding all these extra traits to impress a guy. Ladies it’s OK that you don’t cook, clean, travel, hustle, read, watch sports, like kids, work, AND fix cars (LOL). It’s OK. Don’t get me wrong, it’s always great to grow and learn [for the right reasons], but I don’t encourage premature change. I don’t encourage changing for someone else if it’s not a genuine change. I don’t encourage pretending, well LYING about who you are to curve someones thought of you. Really.. how you gone keep up a persona that’s just NOT you??

Don’t Change. 

“…Just start how you’re going to finish…” -Guru

Furthermore readers, I hope you understood where I was coming from with this post and didn’t go too far left with it.

Be Blessed ^_^

Positive Vibes

Something in me tonight told me that someone needs some sort of inspiration. Some sort of something that will tell that everything will be alright EVEN if at some point it feels as though times couldn’t get any worse.

This is my QUICK post of Positive Vibes…

I could definitely testify a few things, but instead I’m going to encourage everyone who takes time to read this to come up with a goal. This is a simple task. For the sake of my POINT I want you to come up with short term goals. Things as simple as waking up an hour earlier… ACTUALLY going for that jog or run that you’ve been ‘saying’ you were going to take. NOT eating fastfood for a WHOLE day.

Yea, just super short term goals. You can even start tonight by turning off the TV at a certain time. Simple right?

My Point:

I’ve learned that once we figure out that we can ACTUALLY accomplish something that we set our minds to do, it becomes a source of motivation. As simple as it may seem, I promise you when you accomplish your short term goal, you’ll feel different… Motivated.

See, I’ve learned the hard way that if we never MAKE ourselves do anything then nothing will get done. The best ideas in the world hold no merit to the ATTEMPTED idea. The best thought in the world holds no merit the thought NOT shared.

So set a goal. A positive one. Nothing strenuous. 

I have a few quick examples:

1. I’m embarrassed to say that [I] am a procrastinator -_-. Yes, I love to come up with grand ideas and have the craziest time completing things.. WELL I ‘did’ once upon a time. I love writing songs. I used to feel that there just weren’t enough hours in the day to write, and that I never had beats to write to. THEN I noticed that I actually loved acoustic music better than any song with a beat.. WHY could I not at least write the songs first right? I challenged myself to write a song a week. [I did that easily]. THEN I challenged myself to write 2 songs a week… SOON I challenged myself to find free beats and write to the first free beat I’d come across. It motivated me to find better beats because obviously I didn’t like EVERY first beat I came across.. I’d become engulfed in my craft and write a million songs. My archive is ridiculous now!! ^_^
2. DIETING… I HATE eating right!! Its NOT fair. I like pork and OMG I love bread! I love yellow rice and late night snacking! I crave lemonade at odd times during the day and LOVE strawberry shortcake!! So I started small… I challenged myself to go power walking every other day.. [I did that].. THEN I challenged myself to cut out fast food.. That was no problem once I figured out that I was spending TOO much money on eating out anyways. POINT being… I now have a routine. I haven’t ate at Burger King or McDonalds in MONTHS! I haven’t eaten pork in MONTHS!! && I don’t miss is… I slipped into a pair of jeans I used to have to wiggle into.. ^_^

See ppl.. you CAN do it.. I too have symptoms of a lazy person.. of a procrastinating person.. BUT I set small goals that seemed pointless to set, but helped in the most major ways…

Get motivated.. && Furthermore, Be Blessed ^_^