Happy New Years!!

The last day of 2012 is tomorrow. I felt the need to thank everyone who has thus far participated in supporting my site. Furthermore, I just wanted to give my last Words of Wisdom of 2012. 

I hope if nothing else this year you took note of how quickly it went by; at least for me it did. Time is something that you can not get back so i urge and encourage everyone going into 2013 to make every minute count. Don’t linger long on arguments. Don’t hold grudges. If it doesn’t help you progress then I reckon its not worth it. I encourage all to take more risk and do things that you ultimately want to do. Be the person you yearn to be, not whom everyone would like to see you be. Last, but not least I’d say, maintain your integrity as an individual.

I hope to see all my current supporters as well as encourage more people to get to know the Guru in 2013. Expect so much more from your Guru next year.

Happy New Years My Loves ❤

Make It a NEW Year

Every year around December people start writing out list of things they want to accomplish in the year to come. Most times that’s all they do, is make list. I’m guilty of just making list. This year I’m going to make a list that requires check marks. This is my attempt to minimize procrastination.

I thought it might be a good idea to invite you the reader to do this exercise WITH me, but FOR yourself.

Step 1: I started off by writing out all my accomplishments of 2012. I wrote mine in the form of a list and then elaborated. For instance, this very site was an accomplishment for me. I then elaborated on what my first step was and how I completed it. I took note of the direction that I wanted my site to go and how I would attempt to accomplish that.

I did this with every accomplishment on my list. It sounds extensive, and it should be. Hopefully you have a few accomplishments on your list. Take your time and think.

Step 2: Quite naturally I then wrote down the things I wanted to do in 2013. I broke mine down in the form of Short, Intermediate, and Long term goals. I did the same elaborating with these as I did with my accomplishments. I took note of what things I needed to assist me in this. Write down how I would pursue that goal. For instance, one of my goals was to donate at least $100 a month to a charity of my choice. I then broke down that the math would be $50 every two weeks. How I’d make room for that is cutting back on things I don’t need. Fast food alone could save the average person at least $50-60 bucks a month. I then looked up the first charity I wanted to donate to. I did this for every goal.

Planning is something that I encourage.

M favorite quite of 2012 was said by Will Smith; “There is no Plan B, Plan A will work…”

I became attached to the quote because with the proper planning, determination and effort any Plan A can transpire. [Refer to my post Plan A.]

The last thing I did was organize everything. I feel that if you are in constant contact with your goals that you won’t procrastinate. Since technology is an essential part of my life I logged a few short term goals in my calendar and set alarms etc. I know this might sound extreme for those of you don’t need/want to do it. However, consider this, if you have things that you said you’d do last year on your list AGAIN this year, you might want to try a new method. Incorporating technology was my new method.

I wish ALL of you a great Christmas and New Year!

I Wanted To Know, I Asked…

I believe that there is an answer to every question. I believe that to every question one can ask why. I believe that one should be able to answer a question.

In saying that, this post is centered around asking questions when it comes to building relationships. My friends argue me that I’m controlling in wanting an answer to every question I ask. They tease me that I am looking for reassurance when I demand an answer.

I leave the decision up to you reader, but before I leave you to decide, I’ll offer my thoughts on this.

I believe that as adults we have to hold each other responsible for our decisions, and choices. I feel that we have a right to know the facts when it comes to situations that may affect one directly whether it is temporarily speaking or long term.

The example that was used with my friends and I was simple. A guy and a girl just starting off dating perhaps maybe 3 months into it was the scenario. My friends argued that when you know, you just know. In terms of chemistry and love. They felt that you’ll know your next move based off feeling alone. Based off how the person treats you. Based off the obvious.

My argument was simple. I didn’t believe that one’s feelings were enough to validate a situation involving two sets of feelings. I felt that we as adults and individuals should hold the next responsible. Meaning, tell me. I don’t want go off my feelings, just because it feels right doesn’t make it right. My argument puts responsibility on people. My argument simply was from a bolder point of view, one not involving fear of rejection. I feel strongly that people who are afraid to ask questions are people that are afraid of consequences, change, rejection, and having to make choices.

Even though I believe in chemistry, I feel that there are some things that you just won’t know until you ask. There are many situations where someone might just treat you very well, but might not be on the same wavelength as you. There are times that I’m sure someone thought they had certain chemistry with someone, when they thought that the one they had was the ONE that they’d have today. I’m sure there are situations where if a specific question was asked then there would have been a different outcome and possibly sooner.

Words of Wisdom: Ask. There is no harm in asking. I feel the trick to it all is not having any expectations versus and open mind to what others feel. It’s not the point of getting an answer you want to hear, it has EVERYTHING with making people acknowledge their feelings. I myself had a recent situation where I came to a point when I just wasn’t sure. When I really wanted to know something and opted not to figure it out on my own because I knew someone who knew the answer already. So I asked him my question. I got a response. The response, I wasn’t happy with, nor was a disappointed. I must admit that even though I felt that was going to be the answer, hearing it instead of assuming it made it easier to make my next decision. Had I only assumed, I’d still be wondering if my move was the right move for me. I encourage you, dear reader, to ask questions that potentialyyyyyu have effects on you. If you want to know how someone is feeling, ask. If you want to know where someone is at with their feelings, ask. What’s the worst that could happen other than gaining knowledge of a situation? It’s imperative that you know where you stand with people when trying to engage in a relationship. It’s important to know that the two of you are on the same page. It’s IMPORTANT that we make adult act as adults. I don’t believe in dating for forever with no goal. It’s pointless and quite frankly I feel it’s a cop out and an easier way of dealing with possible negative outcomes.

Those are just MY words of wisdom that I’d share… The choice, as always, is up to you.

How Obligated Are You?

This topic is very near and dear to me for a number of reasons. The purpose of this post is to shed light over the responsibility of an individual capable of making their own decisions, but don’t. This is for those who allow others situations to trigger feelings and actions that may be deemed ironic by a thinker like me. This post is to cast no judgement, I was once someone who FELT obligated to do certain things, feeling like I owed people things that I didn’t. Its ok. Its human.

For those of you still a bit in the blind, allow me to give an example.

I knew a guy once. He had a cousin whom was also his best friend whom was never on the straight and narrow path. He was a very commendable young man in his motive to help others, but I wouldn’t say he was the wisest. Well, his best friend would always get into some sort of debt, some sort of trouble. His favorite line to say to me was “…but that’s my best friend in the world, I have to help him”. He’d literally give his last, that’s the commendable part. One night he and his best friend went out to a club and a verbal altercation broke out between his best friend and another young man. I wasn’t there, but I’m sure in his head he was saying “…this is my very best friend, I HAVE to help him”. By the end of the night, the guy I once knew was dead. He was shot and killed jumping into a situation that had zero to do with him. He was also MY best friend.

However, I’m an analyzer at its finest and when I broke it down I realized besides the obvious, he felt obligated. He felt it was his RESPONSIBILITY to react in what he thought was his friends’ best interest.

Besides the deep story I just gave there is a lighter side and easy yet harsh lesson that can be learned. I feel that when one FEELS obligated to do something, they don’t necessary weigh in what the results will be. They don’t stop to think what they are shaking their head yes to. I feel that it’s OK to be obligated to something; that tells me that you have no problem with responsibility. However, there is a great difference in FEELING obligating and actually BEING obligated. Feeling obligating reminds me of something similar to entrapment. I feel it produces a feeling of being unable to make any other choice but THAT choice. That isn’t how an obligation should be. One should WANT to be obligated for NO reason other than their own. For reasons due to their own integrity and commitment.

Words of Wisdom: They’re simple. Want to do something and do it. When you make a commitment be it in a relationship, school, love, friendship, job, or dream; WANT to do it. That way when it’s time to sacrifice something for it, you’re not on the fence about it. It makes for an easier decision. It’s rather easy to decipher between those who FEEL obligated and those who know what it is to genuinely BE obligated. When a situation comes, and a sacrifice has to be made, no matter the extremity, you make it. No matter the result that is to be had, you’re confident that you devoted yourself to whatever it was. As well, you’re happy.

Being a soldier is an obligation. They understand what could happen and still continue on. Being married and loyal is an obligation. They understand what the commitment entails and continues on. Get it?? Now go look at ALL the situations in your life and see just how obligated you are to them. Is it something that you’re doing because you want to, or because you feel you have to? Understand just WHY you feel like your commit yourself to it. If you come out with an acceptable answer for YOU.. Then continue on with life and be happy.

I hope this touched someone in a way that alters a thought process. I hope this gives someone a grasp on the concept and works as that catalyst to make you reevaluate your situation. I hope in the future you can say that you’re obligated for the right reasons.