Impatient.. Don’t Rush.

This topic.. Inspired by a special person in my life. I’ll try and keep this short and sweet.

Myself personally, I’m very impatient, but I’ve never been one to verbally or physically rush anything. I feel that it’s more than healthy to have a limit, a goal, an expectation date if you will. At the same time I feel that one isn’t permitted to rush anything.

In my expert opinion, once you’ve exhausted all your patience with whatever, you must then find an alternative situation… Don’t WAIT around for something to happen, MAKE it happen. So when I say, don’t rush anything. I say that because if you’re on the right path, it’ll definitely happen right on time for you. Don’t look at a situation as taking too long to prosper. Take a step back outside of yourself just to assess what you could do differently to make it happen.

Our ambitions should play as a catalyst in our lives.

Words of Wisdom: exhaust your possibilities, which are said to actually be infinite. Exude a little faith in your plan then know that patience is a virtue. If in your heart of hearts you feel that you have tried every path open to you… Be patient.. Be still.. Focus..

Know that a rushed plan is never a good plan. A rushed job is a faulty job. A rushed situation creates another situation..

Hoped perhaps that this quick thought reaches someone in time to effect their thoughts. It’s appreciated if only but one person took something away from my thought.

Be Blessed Readers..
See You In My Inbox

See You In My Inbox

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Keep People Out Your Business, It’s YOURS For a Reason

Refrain from misinterpreting my words of wisdom. Do well to understand that I only mean well. We all have best friends and family members that which we confide in during the tougher times in our lives when we feel we maybe need advice, or an ear to vent to. I feel that people are so quick to get things off their chest that they miss the step of acknowledging what it really is that ails them. People vent before they take responsibility for their situations and own up to their own  thoughts. I feel that people rush to the validation stage of wanting others to see their side of the story that they never see even why it is what it is. 

One concept I’d hope people would grasp is the simple concept that no one really knows you better than YOU.. I don’t care how long they’ve known you. You attitudes, sure.. A few habits.. Ok. I highly doubt however, that there is a best friend that knows another’s complete and total thought.. 

I like to lead by demonstration: So here’s an off brand example. 

Let’s just say yourself and a family member are in a dispute. You argue, scream and fusOs. You’re past angry. The first step wouldn’t be to call your friends to vent, it’d be to assess. By all means once you’re confident in knowing the root of your situation, if you have “that person” sure share, to each it’s own. I, personally, would refrain from fishing for validation. If a million people tells you what “they would’ve done” how well does that average in if it’s not what you did, or what you wanted to do. Be responsible for your OWN actions, feelings and situations.. 

I bet you thought I was going to mention keeping people out your business to avoid risk of gossip… That’d be worrying about the wrong thing. The truth is the truth, is the truth. If you’re afraid for the truth to be broadcasted… Then change to the variables so that your truth is transparent.. 

I DO hope this reached someone in time. I hope that someone could take away one if not all the points I attempted to convey. 

With my best intentions… 

Sincerely, Guru. 

First Dates.

Hi MissGuru really i just thought it’d be fun to see your take on this story of mine. I was in a 5 year relationship and I’ve been single for about a year now. Finally after sulking forever, I went on my first real date a week ago. He wasn’t the best looking guy, but his life is good. Meaning he has a great job, house, goals, and all the great qualities we look for. Now Guru i’m only 24 years young. My 5 year relationship was my only relationship. Sexually speaking. I have a billion reservations about this guy. I feel like they are all my internal issues though. I don’t know what to do.. I don’t know if I want to continue to date him. He’s established. He wants marriage. He’s also a little older than me. I don’t know if i want really another committed relationship. Am I tripping??

For starters.. That message was really long.. So as you see I paraphrased and picked out the parts that stood out most to me.. So onlookers can see the point of this post.

SO.. Hi honey! I loved this inbox first off because it was so honest. So that’s great that you are trying to know yourself first. I feel like that’s great. Once you got to the meat of the topic of how you’ve only experienced one man sexually and emotionally.. I could understand your reservations about engaging in another relationship. However, i MUST say that the way you described you Ex.. I can see how that relationship needed replenishing and how it was heading towards disaster. Referring to the [communication] section of your post. 

Anyways.. NO you’re not tripping. I get it that you feel like so much of your life has passed you by in the years of your prime, and you feel like you’ve maybe missed some things. I get it. However, I don’t feel that people should fall back on hurt and use that as a pun to act wild and carefree. At the end of the day, some people aren’t built for that life. Some people are commitment driven people who want love. Reading your message, that’s the kind of person I took you for. What with all of the options you exhausted in your past relationship, I’d say you’re wifey type and NOT the type looking for flings, building up a ‘team’, or juggling. I don’t see anything wrong with keeping things on a friendship based level with the young man until you’re sure, but I wouldn’t suggest you going crazy with exploring your options.

I will say though, its rare sometimes to find a man PERIOD, but a good man whom has his life in order and still in his prime as well, but WANTS to settle down. Baby girl don’t be a fool. && I mean that in the best way possible. Even though in cutting loose, you may have some temporary fun, lots of stories and adventures and sleep-free nights, when it all boils down and you’re ready to settle down… there’s going to be that point when you’re like “MAN, I let that ONE go”.. 

Everything isn’t for everybody. Its okay to have fun. Its okay to date around. Its okay. Its not okay to add more confusion in your life “going and opening up that black book” as you put it. Leave the past where it is, YOU don’t go back, let it catch up to you..

I truly hope in some way shape or form my response maybe helped you clarify some things. I really hope you make a positive experience and don’t let the careless ways of another effect your views on everything else. I’ve been through PLENTY trial and errors.. BUT I myself refuse to let it take a toll on what I know to be true, and that is that EVERYONE is different.. & that not everyone are bad people. 

Stay sweet hun. Update me!!

Calm Down. [Lost Layla]

I’ve been dating this guy for only 7 months, I really like him. He’s very open with me about his life for the most part even the part about him being REALLY cool with his ex. Apparently they had a mutual break up, but the all cool and shit but listen I’m really not cool with that at all. I try not to be jealous of her. They hang out a lot. i mean like a lot. But Guru i’m to a point where I want their communication and contact to end. I don’t like it. I really don’t. they have no ties.. NONE. No kids. No mutual friends that I know about. I want to lose him and let her have him. What do I do before I stick my foot in my mouth???? GURU!!!!

Maturity. Trust. Communication.

All three are VERY vital components that I feel you must have in a situation as such. Despite what one may be use to, there are actually times when guys may have platonic friendships with females. I know, I know.. many people suggest that there are underlining feelings.. I feel otherwise.. Nothings ever 100%.

Maturity.

When I say maturity I refer to acting your age. Stray away from the checking his phone, listening in on calls, following him around town to see if he hanging with her. Avoid it. You’ll drive yourself crazy literally. You said it yourself, he’s a great guy. It IS possible that someone else will notice that as well, but if he’s a GOOD guy with integrity, he won’t respond.

How do you know he won’t respond? Was that you next question?

Trust.

My definition of trust is that confidence you have in a person. Its that emotional knowledge when you KNOW that they won’t betray you. In a relationship you must not only trust that when he’s not with you, he wants to be. You must be have a certain confidence that ensures you that everything the two of you do is monogamous. Creating that doubt in a relationship isn’t fully trusting that person [FYI].. When you leave room for possible error, its equivalent to preparing yourself for the downfall, and who is that fair to?? Trusting someone isn’t always easy, matter fact its not easy at all when you have other situations to compare to it.

I’m sure you want to voice your thoughts though.

Communication.

I encourage you to voice your thoughts, but please do refer to my previous blog about delivery of messages. If you approach a situation in an accusing manner, negatively, or demanding.. you should prepare for a negative reaction. What I like for people to understand, is that, JUST because you communicate it, doesn’t mean it’ll be received how you want it. So when you communicate, the goal is to get as close to receivable as possible. [follow me here]. Before you even address him with the situation, YOU first must know what it is that’s ailing you. Is the fact that she’s a girl, the fact of being an ex, the time he spends with her, the opposing belief that females can’t have platonic males friends?? You have to decide. Its fine if its all of the above. You conversation though should go a bit something like this:

I love that you have such a great friend in [——-], I must admit to you though, that it makes me a bit uncomfortable. I feel like [insert the problem]-[Ex. The amount of time you spend with her] is troubling me. I feel this way because [—————]. It would put me more at ease if maybe we could communicate better on the topic. I would like [insert what you’d like to see happen]. Do you have any thoughts on the way i’m feeling?

 

The very last sentence, for me, really brings it all together. I feel like unless he’s able to voice his opinions and thoughts as well, it comes off like a one-sided, do this or else conversation. && When dealing with men, its appreciated when they actually feel like men.

All in all Ms.Layla… They could be a product of two mature people that realized that a relationship wasn’t working for them, but they still trusted each other enough to be friends, and communicate well enough to remain friends.. There IS a possibility that there’s nothing more, nothing less to it.

In your very detailed description of the situation, I didn’t get the feeling that you need to worry too much really. You’re around most important things with him. He’s introduced you to her [I believe you said]. Doesn’t sound like too many secrets. Just don’t get engulfed in finding that flaw or that major error. There actually may not be one. Ya know?

^_^ He could actually be a GOOD/GREAT/SUPER guy.

I really do hope that this helped you some way shape or form. Embrace your good man and leave the worries behind. Let the ‘evidence’ so to speak come to you, and YOU stop searching for it. You’re going to go crazy.. I mean that! Be blessed sweety…

Love Guru.

Update.

Hi my lovely readers. Lately my computer has been out of commission. 

I do want to however take the time out to say thank you to the lovely inboxers! I was very excited to see that a few people wanted my advice on a few things. Only one wanted a shout out ^_^

SO.. Layla, thanks for dropping me an inbox. I see that you aren’t quite a member of Tumblr, but in the near future you should think about joining.. Then you can follow me and i’ll be on your timeline =]

But on to addressing these topics..