Step 5: The Test [Optional]

With this next step here, I urge you NOT to confuse the fact that I do NOT condone lying [other than this one time]. It MIGHT not even calls for a lie, however it MIGHT.

With that being said, It’s a known fact that life will throw curb balls at you when you least expect it. Usually we turn to our really close family members, or that best friend that has your whole life encoded in their brain. THIS time, we are going to confide in our prospects. Not because our other friends are not there, but as stated it’s a test.

Your significant other should not only be your romantic partner, but should be able to play the role of your best friend when they need to, of course with the given fact that some things are better talked about with our circle of besties. Again, this is JUST a test.

Today’s step is simple. It might require some prepping so that is why I’ve posted this earlier than expected. ALL you have to do is share a SMALL… TINY dilemma with your prospect.  I mean it when I say small and tiny. Small and tiny being something like: You just took a big test at school [if enrolled], but don’t know if you passed it, you’re stressed out.

See how simple that was.

PLEASE DO NOT TRY AND OVERDO YOUR STORY AND TELL SOME VERY DRAMATIC FAMILY TRAGIC STORY TO SEE IF THEY WILL CATER TO YOUR EVERY NEED AND BABY YOU. PLEASE DO NOT DO THAT. THE STORY SHOULD BE SIMPLE TO TELL AND SIMPLE TO FORGET. IT SHOULD HAVE NO EFFECT IN THE FUTURE. IF YOU ARE A BAD LIAR… ITS ENCOURAGED THAT PERHAPS YOU SIT THIS STEP OUT. [[OR]] SIMPLY BRING UP AN OLD PROBLEM THAT IS ALREADY SOLVED AND SEE HOW THEY REACT.

The POINT: Basically you want to see how he will handle your stress with you when it comes to something important. Even though everyone’s prospect might not react the same or expected way, some sort of reaction IS required. Whether it’s a simple pat on the back to say you’ll do just fine. Whether it’s them testing you on some questions and studying with you on a future exam [If you used the test one as you story]. There is also a possibility that you won’t see the results until your next problem. Meaning when you have another test per say, he/she might offer to study with you because of the last one you weren’t confident with. If you don’t want to make up a story to tell, then there is nothing  wrong with simply questioning what their reaction would be given a situation. Only thing with that approach is, there is a “grand” answer, then there is the “truth”. I myself prefer raw reactions. So I prefer people to show me and not so much tell me. To each its own though.

Don’t get too hasty if you don’t receive that nice smothering attention that you feel you should receive.

The “problem” that you make up is TOTALLY up to you. Again this Step is totally optional. IF you feel that your guy/gal is a concerned individual and needs no testing than I can appreciate your judge of character. You might have picked a good one. If perhaps you feel that you’re not quite sure.. feel free to participate.

This step being so simple should not require TOO much time to produce results and Step 6 will be posted soon.

Step 5: The Test [Optional]

Step 5 Shall be posted today. However, before you get all amped up about participating in it, I’d firstly like to have you take the time to evaluate how supportive your prospect is. Are you able to tell right now?

Is he/she there for his siblings, mother and/or friends? Is he/she always the one that people call to get advice from?

Step 5 is a Test. An optional Test. IF you answered YES to my previous questions.. Then perhaps sit step 5 OUT. There is no need for you to test someone whom has already passed. 

Either who… Between now and noon… decide and prepare for Step 5. Thx!

With Love, You Guru.

FAQ:

If You Want To Remain Anon:

You can submit you question anon and I can answer it. If you don’t want you answer posted publicly.. just let me know and i’ll answer you back personally. If you have a personal e-mail you’d like me to forward my words of wisdom to, just leave it in the message and i’ll be sure to try and accommodate you.

How Long Will It Take To Receive Feedback?

I will try my best to answer questions overnight. Anything submitted after midnight however will be considered next day. At max 3 days. 

What Makes You So Different?

I am aware that I am as human as the next person. When i put my glasses on and sign on to give feedback I will never put on the mask that i’m an expert and I know better than you. My delivery is unique. Honesty is my bestfriend.

Any further questions of course can be asked and will be answered…

Letter To Besty

Hey girl… I miss you. Things in the love department are kind of picking up. His name is Justin. You’d just love him. He’s very calm in spirit. He’s two years older than me. He’s in college. Of course I can’t leave out the details… he’s tller than me, maybe 6’0ft. Dark skin with shoulder length dreads. Very nice smile and a northern accent. He’s from, NYC. He actually still lives there. He’s down here for the summer.

We aren’t an item,but I be spent plenty time with him. Our first date was this USF event. Some probate show. Afterwards we went to a movie, got full off of movie food && drinks… ended up back at his humble abode where we just played monopoly with his cousin & cousins GF. It was cuuuute girl!! Then I went home.

The nitty gritty.. No kids.. No baggage. He some sort tonka-toy driver in upstate NYC.. Something or other. He’s into the zodiac stuff a little bit, as he needed to be. Last relationship.. Was actually 4 months before him and I met.. He’s been here in Tampa for only a short while. Leaving at the end of summer.

Again we’re nothing major. He has to leave soon. Long distance might be in our future though. That’s gone be my boo. Lol..

Step 4: To You, From Me.

This is the wrap up of month one. I know everyone hasn’t been talking to their prospect for a month, or ONLY a month, but THIS is the wrap up evaluation.

Get to an area of solitude. For a moment I want you to pretend like the person you confide in is at a great distance & you must write them a letter as your only form of communication. I want you to write them talking about nothing but your prospect.

I’ll post my letter address to my BFF to give you a hint of how it’s suppose to go. My letter however is old, being that I’ve already done these steps.

You should be completely honest with yourself as well as your friends in this letter. You are not actually permitted to give this letter to anyone, UNLESS of course you’d like to.

I would personally be interested in reading some of your letters.

THE POINT: I’m a visual person. I’ve found that its a good idea to see things in print versus saying them. You can use this letter as a future reference. IF perhaps your partner grows in the future you can see how far they’ve come. IF they get worse you will be able to see where you started out in a sense.

Its encouraged that you HANDWRITE this letter for your personal files, however typing isn’t totally discouraged. Hang the letter up, use it as a bookmark, or if you send it off.. see if perhaps your BFF is as excited to read the letter. Perhaps see the feedback you get.

With that being said…

READY»» SET»»> WRITE!!!

Step 3: The Approach

So by this time you know a little bit about this prospect of yours. You may have grown a liking or maybe still filling them out. In any matter, i WILL say that its a must that you’re still smiling. IF NOT.. Ask yourself why and proceed. By this point you have engaged in some type of communication and have gotten perhaps a bit more comfortable with talking about random things, if nothing else.

Step Three is titled The Approach because it is imperative that you are respected from point A to point B. Step Three is basically the point, when you sit back and evaluate the things that you maybe gave no thought to.

For Instance:

Did he/she approach you? How? Respectfully?

Is there an even form of communication?

Is it all texting? Phone calls? Late night calls?

How is the conversation? Long? Short?

Where are you going on dates? ARE you going on dates?

What questions are he/she asking you? Any creative, long term insinuating questions?

Is he/she giving you nicknames already?

Its the basic questions.

The point is to make sure your prospect had good habits when it comes to the two of you.

For those already in a relationship this still applies.. Just because the two of you have been together for a while doesn’t mean you slack up on the necessities of the relationship.. I refer my couples to a previous post, titled: But Are We Friends.

Furthermore, if in an instance that you are not going in dates, just texting, can’t remember what they look or sound like…. Ummm.. Figure that out!

I look forward to updates && feedback…

Step Three: Prerequisite

Link: Step Three: Prerequisite

Before you are ready for Step Three, I encourage that you touch bases with one of my earlier post on my site. Step Three will deal with your standards in a sense, as well as knowing your self worth on a minor scale so to speak. Its not a MUST that you read this, BUT it will prepare your mind for what I will attempt to convey on Sunday.

Update!!

Hi my lovely followers…

This is JUST an update to let you all know that Step Three will be posted Sunday EVENING! Closer to the 10’ o clock hour.. 

I feel that with the few questions coming in that most if not all are transitioning towards the next step. As well it is coming to the end of the first month && I HOPE that you all are still with all smiles..

As we wrap up the first month make sure you are all keeping open minds and not taking this game so literal that you’re counting your prospect out based on one or two bad answers. On the other hand make sure you are LISTENING to every answer and interpreting them respectively.

Again, Thank You ALL for the support!

**Try This** Step Two: 12 Questions

This is a neat game… I personally like to either start it early in the morning or LATE at night after your is out the way.

Rules: basically each person gets to ask 12 questions… Via txt. Each person has only three times to pass && that is optional. So there is a chance that only 9 questions will get answered. SO make them good questions!

Present this game to him/her. You start off with the questions and randomize them. Don’t get sidetracked with asking a question feeding off a response. Don’t get flustered if he/she gives odd responses and/or is short. It’s either tactic or bad communication skills; either way put on your thinking caps and interpret appropriately.

By the END of this game you should know more than you knew last week. A few suggested topics:

-Long Term Goals
-Short Term Goals
-Current mindset
-Job
-Kids
-Likes/Dislikes
-Zodiac Sign ^_^
-Past Relationship Problems
-Ambitions
-Plans
-Allergies
-Values (Personal, Family etc)
-Beliefs

Things of this nature.. Whatever your values, thoughts, concerns are… Ask. If he/she did something weird the other day ask… This game is suppose to create an open forum for the two of you.

Do NOT rush your answers. I did this game myself and it lasted four days.. Take your time. Plan. Think of close ended, none debatable questions. Specific questions.

GOOD LUCK!!

Step 2: Find Out

So there’s pretty much nothing worse than meeting someone… Getting to like everything about them only to find out that they don’t want the same things to want… Smh. It’s never to early to inquire. It is all about delivery. It’s fairly simple. You don’t have to roll out the list and ask them in the form of bullet points. Spread them over the course of maybe a week of regular conversation.. Ask as though you’re very intersted not with a motive.

A few things that come to mind off hand that I’D personally want to know:

-Do you have or want kids?How many?

-Do you have goals that might uproot you from your current resident? If so what?

-Are you looking for long term or going with the flow??

——Going with the flow isn’t always bad, but isnt always good. It creates limbo if not approached carefully.

-Religion

Just a few off the top of my head. Finding on these things will further more let you know if step 3 is even necessary… It’ll enable you to figure out what exactly you’re getting yourself into. Everyone knows what their willing to accept.

For example: if you say “hmmm So what’s you goals? Do you see yourself in this city forever” and they say “naaah I’m only trying to be here for about another 2 months” well ummm figure it out..

Or

If you say “do you want kids?” and they say “OMG nooooo… I really don’t like kids AT ALL…” figure-it-out!

THE POINT: it’s all very simple as stated. This is the point where you’re not choosing to settle. The point where you find out what you’re getting yourself into so that any emotions you choose to invest in it.. Are at you very own risk. Again.. Remember to stretch out these questions. Formulate them into a neat conversation. There is also a **Try This** game I will post later today… It’s a great way to get these questions asked.