Don’t Let People Make You Mean

Greetings Readers and skimmers…

So I had a thought recently, and as always, I lead by experience.

So the other day someone really did well to upset me on a day when I was actually having a good day. In lieu of me getting upset, I may have handed out a crazy tongue lashing. Afterwards, I felt bad because although I can be an intentionally mean person, that’s not who I wanted to be. As I’ve grown, I’ve realized that retaliation is a waste of time. Spending time coming up with ways to be vindictive, while maybe it does provide a great release, is also a waste of time.

Don’t let people make you mean…

I can remember having this one co-worker back when I stayed in Tampa and worked at HSN Call Center named Valerie; she is really the sweetest person ever. She would work late, and come in early. She would get some of the worse callers and still get off the phone in this chipper mood and I can remember thinking, “How in the heck is she not irritated and throwing a tantrum??”

I get it now! It’s simply because that angry, irritated, rude and irate person is just not who she is. She is actually a chipper person (Whom I’m sure gets upset), but she does well to exude positive vibes.

Point basically being…

Never let someone get you so caught up in temporary emotions that you become someone whom you don’t even recognize. I’ve seen too many times some of the sweetest people I know doing the ugliest things out of anger towards another.

I’ve adopted this new attitude that comes off carefree, but it’s not, it’s merely me not allowing other people’s negative energy to become mine. I only interact with people who produce the same vibe as me.

I need somebody thiiiiiiiiis happy or better… 

Although better written than said, and said than done… I feel that’s it’s worth the effort to try to save yourself a little bit of sanity.

Words of Wisdom: Don’t let someone who technically has no control of your emotions or actions CONTROL your emotions and/or actions… It’s just that simple.

Leaving The Nest: 10 Things To Remember

Inspiration for this post: Around the 15th/16th of every month the different institutions that I have accounts with (like how I phrased that) start reminding me that I have a bill due soon. I never get used to it; but as always one thought with me leads to a million more and here we are with yet another post…

 

1. If you don’t wake up, you WILL be late for school.

See, when you’re a kid and your mom bust in your room screaming for you to get up.. you don’t move because you know that she’ll be back a second time and a third time to actually wake you up. It wasn’t until I lived alone that I noticed that if I don’t wake up when my alarm tells me to… then I WILL be late for school, miss a whole lesson that I needed to hear, miss all the questions on the exam… and fail. (Lol, dramatic I know, but IJS it’s like that for me.. missing class is dramatic like that for me)

2. If you don’t clean up, you will live in mess.

Again, living at home it was easy to leave a mess lounging because of course at some point in time someone will complain and make you clean it up. Now that I live alone, if there are dishes in the sink.. if I have laundry piled up and hair all over my bathroom sink… I’m the only one that has to look at it. No one comes behind you to clean up. It taught me that value kindergarten lesson… clean up when you’re finished. 

3. You’ll starve.

Cook? I mean yeah, it was fun to cook with my mom and have bake-offs. Yea, I actually enjoy cooking; but you mean to tell me that my cooking skills are all I have to go on?! PERIOD? No one tells you that meals don’t magically appear on the stove when you come home from a long day. No one tells you that it takes 45 minutes and 100 dirty dishes later to get a quick meal. No one told me, and so I wasn’t prepared… and in turn; I Starved. lol (I cook now)

4. You may not spend your money on Cosmo Magazines and Pay Per View.

This one was the big one. Realizing the value of a dollar!!! I went from collecting magazines, to taking them from doctors offices. (LOL; I made a funny); but really… every penny counts; even the ugly pennies. My only bill growing up was considered having leisure money for when I wanted to go somewhere and do something. I was always a hard worker and conscious of my spending, but again, I was working hard to obtain a check to spend wisely at Forever 21. No one told me that 85% of every hard-earned check would go towards bills, 10% on gas and the other 5% has to be put to the side JUST in case you miscalculated on how much you spend on GAS!! Lol. Nobody tells you this. Living alone and having to provide for yourself has taught me to prioritize. I don’t need to be at every shoe sale, or BOGO shopping (Although I love them so..); Oh, and Netflix IS your friend. Lol

5. I O U?

I remember my mom use to say “Lisha, just give me $100 on the phone bill”. I lived at home and worked like a slave; somehow every two weeks I came up short on that $100, and had the grandest excuse as to why. You would’ve thought I was supporting a whole household; Anyways.. lol; No.. no.. you may not ask for an IOU when your rent is due. You may not tell Comcast to keep the cable on because you’re spending your cable money on a pair of Jessica Simpson heels that you saw in Dillard’s on sale with an addition 15% off the ticketed price that’s already marked down (catches breath)… UGH! You cannot! But there are times I’m tempted. I’m sure it has to be some Live-Aloner that understands my struggle…

6. Staying up late watching your favorite show isn’t worth it anymore.

I feel like at some point in time it was cool to see who could actually stay up the longest and still be up at the same time as everyone without being tired. Somehow in my circle growing up that was “cool”. Now, I need every ounce of sleep that I get, which is not much at all. I definitely don’t purposely stay up however watching TV. I live off of Redbulls as it is, I can’t afford to purposely deny myself needed rest.

7. Grocery shopping is not as fun as I thought it was.

When I was a kid it was nothing to go up the cookie aisle and throw two different kinds of cookies in the buggy and hope that my mom would at least let me get one. NOW, I be in Wal-Mart making full-blown sacrifices. “Which cookie is cheaper?”, “Which cookie is healthier?”… “Do I REALLY need this cookie?”. It’s rough. What’s even worse is, you get all this stuff in your cart, pay about $300 on a good grocery trip, only to get home and your cabinet, fridge and pantry still look empty. FML -_-

8. Naps are heaven-sent.

I think every adult can concur with this. When you have to work, study, cook and clean, it is absolutely heaven-sent finding time to take that quick power nap.

9. Leftovers & taking lunch to work are genius habits.

Spaghetti AGAIN?! Yes, spaghetti again. You’ll thank me later once you’ve saved those $20 bucks that you would’ve spent on McDonald’s for the week.

10. Piggy Bank or Savings Accounts – Get One.

Ok, I get it, some of you may feel like you’re too old to have the old ceramic piggy bank chilling on your dresser, BUT I will say that I recently dumped my piggy bank out just to see how much I had and I noted $64.32 in coins and another $40 in loose dollar bills. This was over the course of a 3 month span. Might not seem like much money, but if you think about it that averages to about $33 a month saved, but it makes me wonder how much I recklessly spent to accumulate all this change. I have both a savings and a piggy bank; Every penny counts. Lol.

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My list could continue for days I feel like, but I don’t want to lose site of my point.

Responsibility. Accountability. Ownership. Prioritizing. Sacrificing. Decision-Making.

Moving out and living alone has taught me all of the above and more. It’s barely how the movies project it. It’s not all sleep-overs and pillow fights. It’s not all house parties and cuddle sessions; it could be, but it’s not… It much much more. Don’t take that leap without a keen understanding that the proper mindset is needed. No, it’s not hard necessarily, but it isn’t wise to think it’s a cake walk. 

 

My Thoughts. Words of Wisdom. Goodnight (or Good Morning, depending on where you are).

 

Remember.

“Ultimately, one must remember what they want.“

It’s easy to get caught up in the things that we are receiving. So much that we misplace the notion that what we are receiving isn’t all that we want in life; I’ve learned over time that there is nothing wrong with wanting more.

Matter of fact, wasn’t it some kindergarten lesson that instructed us to reach for the stars? 0_o

I spent time wondering how to get someone to give me what i wanted that i never took time to realize that The flaw is not in the person that won’t give more; it is merely in one that chooses to accept ONLY that.

[Segue…]

I hear a lot that in relationships one has to sacrifice. It’s never said what things one must sacrifice however; I’m left to assume that we choose which things are more important than the next.

…which brings me back to my original thought.

Remember what it is that you want… how you want to feel and be loved;

When it is time to pick and choose the things that we sacrifice in the pursuit to happiness; can one say that the opportunity cost is greater or less? [Sry for the ECON lingo… just got done with homework]

Just a short thought… i personally have to remind myself of this daily.

Maybe someone else needed a reminder too.