Speechless

I’ve been incognito for a moment as I have been searching for a certain source of inspiration.

Make no mistake I always have thoughts and topics that I could potentially bring about and spark up a post; I’ll be honest, I’d only be rambling.

I Journal.

There are times when verbally expressing myself doesn’t suffice. My motto has always been, “It’s not official until you can sign your name under it”. I prefer to write down my thoughts. Most nights I write pages worth of unorganized poetry and I’ll go back and read them days later. When I say unorganized poetry, I mean scribble scrabble, quotes, and random thoughts that just mean so much to me at the time.

I Think.

If there is one thing I’ve learned, as simple as it is… Think before you speak… I bet you never heard a saying that says “think before you write” though.

 

The point of this late entry is to simple encourage one to not be reluctant to writing down their thoughts. Even if it’s a small thought, a quote that someone said that just stuck with you… there are times when words aren’t enough. There are times when we just can’t find the right words to articulate our thoughts. Don’t worry about ramblings and not making sense. Don’t worry about writing it neatly and formatted. Doesn’t have to be paragraph form. Just WRITE! 

For the past few weeks, I’ve been speechless…

Not thoughtless though, I’ve been writing.

Words of Wisdom: Write It Down.. What you may not understand now, you may go back and read it later and have a better understanding of how you feeling at that point in time. Buy a journal and write it down. 

Furthermore, Be Blessed.

Who Wears the Pants?

Who wears the pants??

I grew up in a household where no one really wore the pants, everyone just played a role; no role really being greater than the other. Long story short, I grew up with the notion that it wasn’t about “who wears the pants”, but more about how well each person wears them.

She Makes More Than Me…

In society, I feel that it’s expected and accepted that in a relationship the man can and/or should make more than his woman. In my mind I don’t agree nor disagree with that standard. I just feel that there are calibers, and exceptions to this unwritten rule.

I’ll start by saying that I don’t feel it’s necessarily a terrible thing if the woman makes more than a man… My only rule to that is: It’s not an issue for the woman to make more than the man AS LONG AS the man is making enough to take care of his household off of his means alone.

Is that too strict?? Well don’t jump down my throat too quickly, because I feel this rule applies to women as well.

Well let me try and explain this the best way I know how. At the end of the day, I feel that a man should have the proper means to take care of his household if something ever was to go wrong and he needed to step up. So it’s like even if the man is an under-paid teacher and the woman is a top dollar Certified Accountant, his teaching salary shouldn’t size up to a McDonald’s check when it comes to taking care of a household.

The Real Problem..

I feel that more than anything, the difference in pay could effect one’s ego. However, I feel it’s important to understand that as long as your partner doesn’t have a problem with the difference in the weight of your checks, then it’s fine. I honestly don’t find it to be as big of a deal as many may think it is. I feel that the real problem isn’t really the difference in checks at all. I feel that it has to do with evaluating the lifestyle…

((I had to start a new paragraph for this thought))

See. A woman who’s making good money can afford to do things that a man making a small check cannot. She can afford to spend and know it’s coming back. She can afford to pay all of her bills and still go out and splurge on a new handbag. She afford to not need a man. I feel that men yearn for that feeling of being needed that when that feeling is null and void, it does something to them. It brings about an insecurity that women maybe can’t truly be empathetic to because we don’t know what it’s really like.

Words of Wisdom: Communicate with your partner if them making more bothers you. Do things that will make you feel a bit more empowered.. pay an extra bill :). Furthermore, gain that security within your relationship. If your partner doesn’t see it as a big deal, then don’t make it a big deal. IF you happen to make a McDonald’s sized check in comparison to your partners check then HEY! Don’t duck down, BE A BOSS! Make your partner forget you make pennies to their dollar. 

WEAR THOSE PANTS, AND WEAR THEM WELL!! 🙂

Furthermore, Be Blessed.

Loved or Appreciated…

Hey there beautiful folk…

To tell you how this topic came to me would be telling you too much, but I’ll say that it sparked a deep conversation between myself and a lovely stranger.

Would you rather be loved or appreciated?

I guess this post is more a matter of opinion obviously. 

Appreciated.

My reasoning was simple. I feel it’s important for people to understand all that one brings to their life. Whether it be laughter, love, peace etc. I feel that one may love someone ALL day long and never know exactly how incomplete they’d be without them.

A classic case that I provided during my argument was a simple relationship when a spouse cheats on their partner. One may say that even though they cheated, they still love their mate. I don’t knock that statement. I believe that it is possible. However, I feel that one who cheats doesn’t appreciate their situation ENOUGH. I feel that: one who appreciates something won’t treat it like just anything.

Appreciate all things given to you.

My very first post as your Guru was “The Hardest Thing About Life”. I stated that I felt the hardest thing about life was appreciating it and all of it’s intricacies. Something as simple as someone loaning you a single dollar that you don’t have. I feel that once you gain an appreciation for something, love becomes a possibility.

Feeling Appreciated.

Picture it. You come home from a long day of work and your boo has dinner cook, bubble bath ran and the latest episode of SCANDAL recorded for you 🙂 It’s like “awww thanks babe, I appreciate that!!” You feel love and appreciated all in one swift move.

I don’t think people think as much about it. It like an unconscious feeling. You never really notice it until you’re lacking it.

Words of Wisdom? Read this post again 🙂 No, but honestly, there are no right or wrong answers. Although I feel I presented my case rather well, I must say that my lovely debater presented their side just as well. As long as you are receiving the emotional feedback to satisfies your soul, then by all means carry on. 

Furthermore Beautiful Readers.. Be Blessed 🙂

“Do What You Gotta Do…”

Hi there.. seems like nearly forever since I did a post; Lately I’ve been a bit more than inspired though by a few things.

*SideNote* There is irony here though, I’m not wearing my glasses 🙂

I still must Do What I Gotta Do. The topic today.

The other day I found myself with an abundance of tangled thoughts, no efficient answers and a million rhetorical questions that I was asking myself. I found myself becoming very concerned with certain things that I had no immediate control over.

My turning point came when I relaxed my mind and was actually able to solve one of my worries in that same instant. I literally solved my problem within minutes of me concentrating on the solution. Seriously.

Everyday I hear complaints, and in my mind I can relate, but at the same time I try to encourage one to instead of complaining, brainstorm. Try it. Instead of saying “ugh! This test is going to be sooooo hard”.. say, “I should probably get an early start on studying because I already KNOW this is going to be a challenge for me”… Do you see the difference in connotation?

Words of Wisdom: Yes, this is pretty short, sweet and to the point. I learned that when you’re handling your business, and doing all that you’re suppose to be doing, then everything will fall in place. Understand that the moment you press pause on life to cry and reminisce in your moment of somberness that you’re losing valuable time. Time that can be put into a goal. Do What You Gotta Do and be patient. 

Furthermore readers.. Be Blessed.

What’s Right, What’s Wrong?

There’s a right and a wrong way to do anything right?

It wasn’t until recently that I’ve come up with the conclusion that there is no right or wrong way to approach a relationship, only YOUR way.

It wasn’t until I stepped back to take a moment to think of what I could do different to make something work out a bit better that I discovered that there really isn’t anything that I could do differently that would work in my favor. Of course, I could technically try out a bunch of different options, but if those approaches aren’t reflective of who I am then it serves no point.

I like providing examples to go along with my words:

Picture applying for a job with a resume only to find out that your resume needs a bit more sprucing up. So you go and add all of these skills that you really don’t have, but know that it’d look better or perhaps gives you a bit more of a chance for an interview. So then boom! You were right, sprucing up your resume landed you the interview and got you the job right. So here’s the part that counts… DOING the job. You’ve fluffed yourself up to be this BOSS.. this PRO at this job and then you can’t fulfill the position…

To bring this on home…

There is no “right” way to be yourself. There are real rules to interacting; either you mesh or you don’t. In an instance that you don’t mesh; it doesn’t mean that there is something “wrong” with the next person.

 

Words of Wisdom: My words of wisdom are simple. Being yourself is enough. There is nothing wrong with you just because the next person doesn’t get or understand you. I’d only encourage one to find out what works for them and make it right. 

 

 

Word Play..

I don’t want a boyfriend, I want a friend.. that’s a boy..

I don’t have secrets, I have business that I don’t care to share with you..

I’m mad, I’m just VERY VERY VERY disappointed..

I didn’t expect anything, I just kinda hoped it’d go differently..

((Word Play))

I may admit to using all of those lines at one point in time.. I can directly give confirmation that word play happens to be the best catalytic form of missed communication that I know!

…Word Play…

Saying what you don’t mean, but meaning what you say.. Of COURSE you want a boy that’s a friend, but you also want a boyfriend. Of COURSE you hoped it’d go differently, you expected it to go a LOT better right?? Yeeeea…

||Word Play||

It’s something I’m good at actually. This contradictory, shy yet forward, genius form of communication is something that I grin at because the effortless, unknowing way that people do it, intrigues me. The way a person can say what they don’t mean, but in their minds, mean exactly what they say.. Interesting right?

:|Words of Wisdom >> Word Play|:

Use word play wisely. When I say wisely, I mean use word play when you are not trying to validate a serious point. Use it when you are not attempting to be direct in your approach. Use it when you’d like to send someone on a goose chase and have them figure out something that you don’t feel that you’d like to necessary say. Use it at your own risk.

Now after you read my Words of Wisdom, how do you feel about my concept of Word Play? 

 

Furthermore Readers, Be Blessed…

–Yours Truly, Guru.

 

A Year Older…

June 24th I turned 24…

The question most people always break the ice with is: How does it feel to be 24? With no real sufficient answer I say the first thing that comes to mind and that is: “The same as I did on the 23rd.. no more different than 23…”

Welp, I’d like to not so much recant my initial statement but rephrase it for better understanding.

I feel a sense of urgency..

As I did when I was 23.

Every year my birthday comes around, I like to take a moment to evaluate where I am in life. I don’t mind feeling the same as I did when I was 23, as long as the same defines happiness. I don’t mind..

I was having a conversation with a young man and he asked: “What you gone do different at 24?”

So I’ll explain.

See when I was 23, I felt like I was preparing for 24. When I was 23 I felt like everything I was doing led up to the point where I’d only have to maintain it at 24 and once I became 24, I could take THAT which I learned and accumulated at 23 and prepare to be 25 while I was 24…

Did I lose you on that?? 

Because I understand the fact that I’m not getting any younger, I’m not a person to live in the moment too much. I’m not a person to stretch happiness. I’m a person that would rather find different forms of happiness as I go on with life. I’m a person who welcomes change even if I don’t like it, therefore I understand that what may make me happy at 23, may not make me happy at 24. So while I’m 23, I’m preparing for that change. Mentally preparing my mind for that shift that may come.

&&& when I say shift, I simply mean that moment when I merely don’t want to do certain things anymore. No, I don’t want to eat McDonalds anymore, I want to go to a restaurant and sit down. That’s a simple shift. A heavier shift would be: No, I don’t want to date for years to fall in love never, I want an acknowledged foundation.

He felt as though I skated around the question as to what will I do different at 24. However, if you read the same words I’m proof-reading now, you’d understand that my 24, is your 25; that it’s not a matter of doing things different, versus better with more direction; that at 23 I was trying to stay 2 steps and 3 thoughts ahead. I will continue to strive to do that.. [There’s your answer]

I’m A Year Older…

I did what I had to do at 23, and I was ready… AM ready.. to now be 24.

Furthermore, Be Blessed

–Yours Truly, Guru .

 

 

Before You Do…

This post will be short, sweet and to the point as I’m actually replying to an inbox that I felt couldn’t wait for an answer. It’s SO relevant to life right now, I felt  like she was on Skype with my BFF and I last night… Lol

Before You Do..

Before you do anything in life I feel that it’s more than necessary to know the answer as to WHY you are about to do that particular thing. If you are about to go shopping, or skip out on a lunch etc; I think it’s quite relevant to know why you feel you must. I’m a fan of having purpose and reasons behind actions so that if the time comes that one must explain, they are able to. [[Simply Put]]

Once You Know..

Once you have a grasp on why you are about to engage in something, I feel it’s important to be prepared. When I say be prepared, I mean be prepared to deal with any spectrum of consequences that may follow that decision. If you’re skipping out on a lunch then perhaps be prepared to receive a little attitude from that friend that you stood up. If you’re going to play hookie from work, be prepared for that check to look a bit smaller.

Follow Through…

I’m not really keen on half-ass doing things [excuse my language]. It’s kinda of a thing where you have to put your money where your mouth is [never really got that saying, but you know what I mean]. One may only follow through once they’ve done something, and don’t do it unless you plan on doing it correctly. So once again, if you ditch the lunch with the friend, and are prepared for that attitude.. follow through/follow up with a rain check. Don’t just leave them hanging and waiting. If you’re going to play hookie from work, the next time you go into work, don’t go in there looking like a ray of sunshine if you said you were sick LOL…

Although this topic may pertain to many other spectrum’s of life, I chose to keep it G-rated and appropriate. To the young lady who actually requested the topic, I hope it was easy to catch my drift. Before you take a step in the wrong direction, consult with yourself. Make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. Make sure there is a purpose behind it. Know that “because you just want to” stopped being an acceptable answer a long time ago, and I don’t accept it too much because there’s always a more intricate answer as to why. If ‘because you want to’ is your first answer, ask yourself WHY until you come up with something else. If you can’t come up with anything else.. then my dear, I’d say just wait a while and get your thoughts together. I’d hate for you to make a poor decision.

Furthermore, Be Blessed.

Consistency

This Shall Be Short & Sweet…

Consistency.

You ever meet someone who one moment you adore them; the next moment they’re a pain in your behind; the next moment you really feel like you don’t even know them? It’s a real task to keep up with that huh?

I feel that it is imperative that one understands that the faith a person builds in you depends on your consistency. For instance, if you are someone that many people call on in their time of need, it might be due to the fact that they KNOW they can count on you for whatever reason. You’ve given them a reason to instill that faith in you. On the flip side, if you’re someone who’s always cancelling a plan; or never picking up the phone during emergencies, I doubt others are going to have much faith in you when it comes to certain things.

Consistency In Relationships

I mean ANY relationship. Romantic, Business or Friendship. Whatever the relationship is, I’m sure the recipient wants to feel as though they know you. I can’t really give too much explanation when it comes to being consistent.

If I had to give some direct encouragement, I’d say:

• Do what you say you’re going to do
• Be who you want people to see and know you as
• Treat others how you want to be treated
• Don’t make promises or plans that you can’t or don’t intend to keep
• Don’t FEEL obligated.. BE obligated [How Obligated Are You]

Simple.

See… short & sweet. It’s not hard, so don’t make it hard to be consistent.

Everyone Needs a Budget

8:40am EST

No I’m about to help you come up with a successful financial plan. No I’m not about to break down the value of a dollar or help you get your household in tact. [Unless you need help doing so]

This morning I just want to give a quick reminder. I’ve, in the past wrote “Don’t Feel Bad” about not over extending yourself to others. I’ve written about “Letting Go” of certain things and I’ve encouraged you in my post “Don’t Stay”

What I realize that I didn’t tell you, was to know your limits. One must know just how much they will take or one will never know when enough is enough. Just to break it down for better understanding and to avoid capping off at one subject matter, I’m using the metaphor of knowing your budget.

Keep Up With Me Now…

Say you get paid and before all, you know you must pay your bills. Say after you give what you have to give you’re left with a mere $50 bucks. Then it clues to you that EVERYBODY called the day before to borrow and have some of your money. [Here’s the part you need to read carefully] One must know just how much they actually have to spare. You can’t give what you don’t have to give. [Seems simple huh]. Seems simple when dealing with money because you know who you wouldn’t let borrow your last, or who you wouldn’t let borrow a thing a all. Seems a bit more complicated then not when it pertains to your emotions.

If only we could use a simple budget to calculate the logistics of the heart. If only it were a mathematical equation that sways our brain to think of whats what and not the could be’s. [I almost started preaching/rambling].

Words of Wisdom: I would never encourage someone to NOT give their last quarter to someone else; I would only encourage one to make sure they don’t actually need that quarter. I would encourage that one pay’s their ’emotional bills’ on time. Meaning, how can you properly show someone else a certain amount of love, concern and time if you’re emotionally deprived in the worst way. In laymen terms, how can you pay someone else’s light bill and then you sitting in the dark?? 

Furthermore, Be Blessed.

8:55am EST